Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize