Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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