Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
