we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
