does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
