Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dicks are not precious.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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