We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So much rum. So many feels.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
