are you still at the devil's house?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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