The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
dude. I can hear the air.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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