i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
