I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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