I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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