My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My balls are so social today.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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