he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
