Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just had sex on a roof
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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