can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
