Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
did you just send me my own nude
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
