you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
