And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
pray to the hookup gods
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