you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize