apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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