And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
