you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
