So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
