He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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