do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
