The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she looked like the before picture.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
