I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
