xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
