Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
