Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
