shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
