That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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