you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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