oh god the rape fog is back!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We had to coat check the pizza.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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