i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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