STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
