my sisters under your porch take her home
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
