Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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