Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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