He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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