Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize