Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
