i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize