Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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