I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
