He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
