The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
