'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
