Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
