Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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