my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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