i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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