I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize