what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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