Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
