I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
