She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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